Autism is not a death sentence, nor does it mean your child is Rain Man. It’s fascinating just what you don’t know when you hear the word Autism. It’s amazing what images your mind conjures up. Think about it for a minute, what did you see?
I am hoping that you saw a human being first and foremost. Hoping that you saw a child, teenager, adult that needs and wants love. Hoping that you didn’t see with judgemental eyes someone that’s difficult, misbehaved, or has learning needs. I am hoping you didn’t see them through eyes of pity.
The reality is that most people will see this image and its through no fault of your own. Society has misunderstood Autism for years; it was only as recent as the 80’s that Aspergers was even recognised as a separate spectrum disorder. It’s only been in the last 20 years that Autism was recognised as being a spectrum of more than 100 disorders; proof that no one has really known what Autism really is and that every case is different.
The fact is that Autism affects around 1 in 1000 Australians and is more common in children than cancer worldwide. Those are not numbers to scoff about and there is a real fear that Autism is actually being “underdiagnosed” as opposed to something like ADD/ADHD which seems to be a lable every other kid has. It’s highly likely that you or someone in your family is Autistic and no one knows. There are sadly many adults that sit within the Autism spectrum and they don’t know that their little quirks and unique behaviours are actually part of a disorder.
Autism is not some easy disorder to describe, it’s not even easy to diagnose clearly. I guess it’s why so many parents are like us, you know something is wrong, but you just don’t know what it is and so the hunt begins, or at least it should!
For us, the hunt began simply. Zac couldn’t speak properly and we knew it was more than delayed speech. There was something a little strange, something that we could never put our finger on until we got the diagnosis in November 2009. When that happened, so many things were understandable.
A three year old visited the house in early 2009. He was the son of an electrician who had to come out at night to fix some of my bad handy work. The little boy could speak so clearly and succinctly that I almost died when I was told he was younger than Zac. When the sparky was in my roof, the boy asked, “Where’s my daddy?” I remember thinking later, that Zac could never have asked that question of me. He could talk, but it was of no consequence. It had meaning, but only to him. He formed words without problem, but there was no way you could have a conversation with him. I couldn’t ask how he “felt” because he would not be able to tell me, but ask him about Thomas the Tank and you would get the entire plot of one of the episodes.
The other thing that was odd was that he grouped, lined and sorted his belongings. It would be a surprise if we found his cars in a pile as opposed to a line along a window sill, table top or any other flat surface. As he got older, the grouping began. I walked in one day to see piles of cars and trucks sorted by type. There was a pile of metal ones, plastic ones, Thomas trains, other trains and a small pile of broken toys with no wheels. When Renee saw something similar on a TV show, alarm bells rang.
But to look up “Autism”, Zac seemed to “fit” some of the diagnosis and then not so. Little did we realise that every child is different. My limited understanding of Autism was a child that was cut off from the world, who could not function “normally”. I had also heard of Jenny Mccarthy’s work on finding the window into the Autistic child. I saw her on Oprah. I had seen Rain Man too. Wasn’t he Autistic? Don’t get me wrong I have grown up around kids with learning deficiencies and learning disorders. I thought that I knew quite a bit, how wrong I was!
And honestly, discovery has been a massive journey and learning curve, one I hope to share with you along the way.
Zac is now 4. He is the light of my life. I am here to ensure that he knows he is different, but he is not less. I am here to tell you my son is different, but by no means is he anything less.
